Make Believe 1/10+
Apr. 14th, 2007 10:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
requialexaTitle: Make Believe
Summary: Jason has somehow forced himself into Anita's heart, and although he wouldn't admit it, thankfully not into her bed.
Fandom: Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter
Characters: Anita, Jason
Genres: Angst, Humor, Romance Warnings: Spoilers for CS
This is my only fic, thought I should place it where it belongs, on my LJ.
After Halloween, Anita and I started meeting once or twice a week to run together because she’s too fast now to be challenged when she runs with human companions. I have yet to get the nerve to ask her why she thinks she needs to work out if she’s harder to kill and faster than most of the bad guys….but it’ll take me some more time. Maybe old habits die hard. I tried not to analyze it too much because I just loved spending time with her. She had rapidly snuck in and somehow became very much like a best friend. Grown men don’t generally admit to that sort of relationship, from what I have seen, so I wouldn’t actually admit to it out loud. Not that I generally consider myself a grown man, either, but that’s neither here nor there.
Her opinions were the ones that mattered to me the most; if I had a question about anything, I wanted to ask her first; I wanted to show her things I had seen and read passages of books to her so we could argue about them. It was just so nice finally having someone in my life who took me seriously, who valued my opinion and who listened to my rhetoric. My parents never had and who would I turn to now? Jean Claude or Asher? Damian? Nathaniel? Richard? Richard and I might have been friends had we been solely human, but pack politics dictated that he was dominant to me, and while I didn’t balk at that, it did put a kink in any mature human friendship we might have cultivated. Friends need to be on equal footing.
And that was just one reason it was so odd that Anita and I had become such good friends. It started after, or maybe even before, I “took one for the team” this summer. As we grew closer, the pack roles disappeared and I think we both felt like just plain old humans when we ran together. At first it was just running, but then we’d add coffee beforehand. Then we added hanging out when possible after the run. The run itself was 90 minutes on a short day. If Anita didn’t have any pressing appointments until later in the day, every once in a while she would stop by the Circus and I’d hand her the highlighted copy of whatever I was reading and we would sit in my room and argue. It got ugly at times, but we had a good time. I think we were evenly matched.
She had even put the bug in my ear about going to school. Sometimes Anita just made it really hard to maintain my chosen level of denial. Being a prettyboy was a lot simpler than living up to my potential. And how far did I want to go if I had to hide my furriness all the time? With all the publicity surrounding Jean-Claude, I doubt I would have any anonymity to begin with and nobody would hire me even if I did get a nice degree in god-only-knows what. All of these arguments she refuted with, “What else do you do during the day, Jason? Couldn’t you just learn for the sake of learning?” and those words have echoed in my head for a while, almost ruining the comfort of my denial.
Running sessions evolved into coffee meetings. And then one morning she turned up in my bed since she was too tired to drive home after an exhaustive night of banging my boss. Okay, that sounds bitter and it isn’t. It was lovely to have her in my bed, and I made her as uncomfortable as I could until she threatened my life. The thing about Anita is that she isn’t really all that drop-dead gorgeous. She is no Barbie Doll, on that point I agree with her. But she just commands attention. She walks into a room and every pair of eyes watches her, even if it is only peripherally. She makes others crave her attention. If not that than it is the desire to conquer said power, to make her need something. And on another level, there is that broken part of her that seeps through and at times flops out flailing on the floor.
There is a giant part of Anita that nobody sees outright. The parts we see are just the side effects of something that we can only guess at. She’s let me see some of the cracks in her armor, and some of them I have poked and prodded, pardon the expression, until I was able to see them on my own. She knows some of my more painful truths and I know some of hers. But neither of us has the whole picture.
The few times that she has spent the morning in my bed, I have awakened in the afternoon to find her curled next to me, unaffected, innocuous. I always have to count to twenty and walk away. I value her friendship and I value her respect. What I value most, though is that I am the one she is not sleeping with. I feel it gives me a special place, a sort of carte blanche. That and she doesn’t see me as a sex object most of the time. I am not her pet and I am not about to be. Her word means something to me and that is the most valuable part of our friendship. I trust her.
Summary: Jason has somehow forced himself into Anita's heart, and although he wouldn't admit it, thankfully not into her bed.
Fandom: Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter
Characters: Anita, Jason
Genres: Angst, Humor, Romance Warnings: Spoilers for CS
This is my only fic, thought I should place it where it belongs, on my LJ.
After Halloween, Anita and I started meeting once or twice a week to run together because she’s too fast now to be challenged when she runs with human companions. I have yet to get the nerve to ask her why she thinks she needs to work out if she’s harder to kill and faster than most of the bad guys….but it’ll take me some more time. Maybe old habits die hard. I tried not to analyze it too much because I just loved spending time with her. She had rapidly snuck in and somehow became very much like a best friend. Grown men don’t generally admit to that sort of relationship, from what I have seen, so I wouldn’t actually admit to it out loud. Not that I generally consider myself a grown man, either, but that’s neither here nor there.
Her opinions were the ones that mattered to me the most; if I had a question about anything, I wanted to ask her first; I wanted to show her things I had seen and read passages of books to her so we could argue about them. It was just so nice finally having someone in my life who took me seriously, who valued my opinion and who listened to my rhetoric. My parents never had and who would I turn to now? Jean Claude or Asher? Damian? Nathaniel? Richard? Richard and I might have been friends had we been solely human, but pack politics dictated that he was dominant to me, and while I didn’t balk at that, it did put a kink in any mature human friendship we might have cultivated. Friends need to be on equal footing.
And that was just one reason it was so odd that Anita and I had become such good friends. It started after, or maybe even before, I “took one for the team” this summer. As we grew closer, the pack roles disappeared and I think we both felt like just plain old humans when we ran together. At first it was just running, but then we’d add coffee beforehand. Then we added hanging out when possible after the run. The run itself was 90 minutes on a short day. If Anita didn’t have any pressing appointments until later in the day, every once in a while she would stop by the Circus and I’d hand her the highlighted copy of whatever I was reading and we would sit in my room and argue. It got ugly at times, but we had a good time. I think we were evenly matched.
She had even put the bug in my ear about going to school. Sometimes Anita just made it really hard to maintain my chosen level of denial. Being a prettyboy was a lot simpler than living up to my potential. And how far did I want to go if I had to hide my furriness all the time? With all the publicity surrounding Jean-Claude, I doubt I would have any anonymity to begin with and nobody would hire me even if I did get a nice degree in god-only-knows what. All of these arguments she refuted with, “What else do you do during the day, Jason? Couldn’t you just learn for the sake of learning?” and those words have echoed in my head for a while, almost ruining the comfort of my denial.
Running sessions evolved into coffee meetings. And then one morning she turned up in my bed since she was too tired to drive home after an exhaustive night of banging my boss. Okay, that sounds bitter and it isn’t. It was lovely to have her in my bed, and I made her as uncomfortable as I could until she threatened my life. The thing about Anita is that she isn’t really all that drop-dead gorgeous. She is no Barbie Doll, on that point I agree with her. But she just commands attention. She walks into a room and every pair of eyes watches her, even if it is only peripherally. She makes others crave her attention. If not that than it is the desire to conquer said power, to make her need something. And on another level, there is that broken part of her that seeps through and at times flops out flailing on the floor.
There is a giant part of Anita that nobody sees outright. The parts we see are just the side effects of something that we can only guess at. She’s let me see some of the cracks in her armor, and some of them I have poked and prodded, pardon the expression, until I was able to see them on my own. She knows some of my more painful truths and I know some of hers. But neither of us has the whole picture.
The few times that she has spent the morning in my bed, I have awakened in the afternoon to find her curled next to me, unaffected, innocuous. I always have to count to twenty and walk away. I value her friendship and I value her respect. What I value most, though is that I am the one she is not sleeping with. I feel it gives me a special place, a sort of carte blanche. That and she doesn’t see me as a sex object most of the time. I am not her pet and I am not about to be. Her word means something to me and that is the most valuable part of our friendship. I trust her.
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no subject
Date: 2007-04-14 09:38 pm (UTC)But will you finish it? ;)
Do I detect a mild interest in Dr Who, by any chance?
no subject
Date: 2007-04-15 01:12 am (UTC)You know, I haven't yet even read past the third installment...at this rate I might be ready to update in about 9 months or so!
Thank you for adding me as a friend. I might have a following someday and now need to post only serious, thought-provoking things on my LJ.
Right.
:-D
no subject
Date: 2007-04-15 01:30 am (UTC)As we all do! Of course!
It is good to know you are around!